Dear Sis

April 19, 2015

I won’t pretend that I’m not this way a little but I try my best to be direct. I hate head games and insinuation almost as much as I hate wearing dress pants. If I’ve done something wrong, say so. If I can make it right I will. If you disagree with me, that’s ok too. However, don’t ask me a question when you don’t want the answer and don’t lie about your motive for asking. Don’t punish me for having an opinion of my own either, all relationships have disagreements. We are individuals after all. Besides, the basis of a true and good relationship is the ability to speak the truth without fear of repercussion or loss. Sometimes we have to accept differences because it’s not up to us. People aren’t property and they have the right to like, love or even hate who they want. As long as it’s not hurting anyone else, it’s not your business my relationship with anyone else. Nor is it my business what yours are. If you’re willing to forfeit a relationship with me because I’m nice to someone you don’t like then I guess I never had any value to you to begin with. Sometimes we have to swallow our pride for those we love. It’s ok to express your feelings but after that, let it go. If you can’t then just walk away like you did but when the time comes, you’ll have to be accountable for that choice.
I used to tell Bailey to be nice to everyone even if they aren’t your cup of tea. I’d say you don’t have to invite them for a sleep over but just be nice. That’s not being fake, it’s being a decent human being. It’s doing what you have to do to have a relationship with someone else you love. Even when people don’t deserve kindness or even tolerance being like them gets you no where. In this case, you chose to lose your sister. Haven’t we lost enough already? The person who looked up to you and needed you now more than ever. It’s been a year in May since you’ve spoken to me. I have been to hell and back. I questioned myself more than once and if you bothered to read my blogs you’d know I was close to ending it all. I’ve been left out of important information out of spite. Some would say that’s unforgivable but I know the lessons we learned about holding a grudge. I can’t blame you. All I can ask is you rethink your choice. I love you.

Btw, I blocked the content so you couldn’t make fun of me and I know you count your FB friends so if I unfriended you, you’d just talk about that. Rather than post a passive aggressive note on FB, maybe you should ask yourself what my motives were and re read this blog.

Thank you to my friends who tolerate me, hold me accountable and shake me when I need it. You accept the crazy and I know it’s not easy.

Much love,

Amanda

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