Only dancing when it’s my song

I’m sorry I’m not perfect. I’m sorry I expect too much. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you thought I was. I’m not sorry I stopped trying. There has been a certain freedom in deciding to just be. No more rejection or begging or guilt. Where has this been my whole life? No one told me I had to be constantly dancing. It was a lesson I took out of examples or behaviors I watched growing up. No one said I must, I just thought I did. I just assumed to be accepted or loved I had to give and give and until I lost who I was altogether. I don’t see a time where I won’t worry but I am certain I don’t need to dance anymore. I’m certain I don’t need those who want me to in my life either. It makes me sad though. I’ve lost people I loved because of this. My heart hurts but I’ve realized no amount of dancing can change them so it’s time to let it go. Maybe in time, they will come back to me. Maybe missing me is what they need. I’m sorry I’m not perfect. I’m sorry I expect to much. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you thought I was. I’m not sorry I stopped trying but I am sorry I lost you.

Much love,

Amanda