I talked to God today

January 18, 2015

I talk to God. I have no idea how he feels about my rants or questions but that doesn’t stop me. I’ve often thought people who are seen as “crazy” because of their murmurs or outbursts maybe are really having their own dialogue with God. Regardless, I can’t judge because I literally talk out loud, especially when running, to God. My conversations vary and so do the resolutions but it typically helps.


I’m not what I’d consider a religious person but I believe there is a supreme being. I have a hard time believing he judges based on who you love or marry. I have a hard time buying into all sins being equal and I completely disagree with the archaic idea that if you take your life, you go to hell. If you disagree that’s fine but this is my blog so my rules. I don’t want to hear any hateful comments regarding those things. I’ve heard the arguments for all those topics and I can agree to disagree.


So, God and I chat about a lot of stuff. I don’t always like the ideas I get when I reflect but it’s good for me. I’ve talked about nature and love, politics and hateful people. I’ve screamed and cried. I’ve listened to the wind and heard his voice. I’ve listen and gotten silence as well. Sometimes I think he wants me to come to my own conclusion. Sometimes I know the answer, it’s just not one I’d like to accept. The good thing about talking to God is, He listens before He responds even though He already knows what’s in my heart. He also can’t be fooled or lied to. Just like myself, I can deny how I feel all I want but I know the truth as much as I may not like it, well it is what it is. Life is funny that way. Each choice we make has a consequence. That’s that thing God gave us called free will. He’s tricky that way. He lets us choose right or wrong then teaches us lessons from that. Just like any good parent will do, right? As a child, I might not like his answers but someday, I’ll figure out he’s right.


Today I wondered why people like to stir what I’ll call the shit pot. I love it when people feign innocence when they say or insinuate something that’s only going to hurt or cause issues for other people. What does it really get them? Why does God allow people like that to flourish? The answer came to me is God’s time as usual. We gave some money to a guy holding a sign on Sawmill. Jim said I hope he’s not just full of crap. I responded without thinking “that’s his karma not ours”. It hit me, those people who go around acting holier than thou stirring shit and causing people to have to relive past hurts are choosing their own karma not their victims futures. So to those shit stirring individuals you may enjoy those few minutes of gloating but karma or shall I say God’s ever watchful eyes will come back to you someday. As for me and those who are understanding of who I am and my own struggles, we may suffer today over your crap but it’s short lived. Those things make us more resolved to keep good in our lives and be able to discard the rest. Can I get a thank you God?


Much love,


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Suicide Prevention Coalition of Logan and Champaign Counties



Suicide Prevention Coalition of Logan and Champaign Counties

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